It has been a couple months since my last post.
This past summer, I separated from the military, sold my house, and moved across the country.
In September, I began a new job that I was excited for – perhaps too excited. The organization itself ended up not being a good fit. My mental health was suffering. After I chose to leave the position, I learned from my parents that they had been very worried about me.
When I love something, I throw myself into it. And I loved the skills and opportunities that job had – creativity, planning, communication, working with other businesses.
Sometimes things don’t work out the way we want them to. What we need and what we want are not always the same. This has been a difficult lesson for me.
So what else is new? I have been reading more and even got new library cards for my son and I.
This October, I have been working on a new story.
This project is an entirely new one. I wanted to write something with a fantasy/magical element that takes place in the story-world that I’ve had in my head since I was a teenager. Now, I finally feel comfortable enough to start world building.
The premise of my new story The Pomander is that two women must go on a journey and along the way they learn and reveal truths about themselves. The consequences of their ability or inability to accept their truths could have life changing and potentially lethal consequences.
It’s what I’m calling more of a soft fantasy – it’s in a fantasy world but there’s not a ton of gallant dueling or dragons or things like that. In the first draft, I am aiming more for the emotional than the action. Plus, this world is connected to earth.
I have more stories that will take place here – Museum of Halfwood Things and eventually a story about the original heroine, Cadwyn – but for now I am enjoying the writing process (I use Scrivener) and crafting the characters.
Sharing this side of me has always been difficult because I thought it made me feel too different. At some point during my childhood – or more accurately, over the course of it – it was instilled in me that being different was not good. I only wanted to be good. I never wanted to be “bad”.
The stress of disappointing others has held me back from so much when I should be focusing on myself.
As an adult, I’ve met and been inspired by so many amazing people who are not afraid to be “different”. To them, I am eternally grateful.
Now, I don’t want to be good or bad – I just want to be myself.
I hope you do something for yourself today, friends!